Self Care

Be kind. For everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.
Plato

You call your doctor’s office for an appointment, or you receive a message that the appointment needs to be rescheduled. The staff tells you that your doctor has taken ill and will be out of the office indefinitely. They offer you the option for an appointment with a different doctor. You may be hesitant to transfer care, but you know this doctor will be able to help in your own doctor’s absence. We develop trusting relationships with the health care providers we see. Each of these professionals offer different areas of expertise and over time we become comfortable with, and depend on them to be there to help us in our times of need. They become a reliable, consistent presence.

But what happens when your therapist becomes ill or has a family emergency? Who will help you continue the therapy you started or have been doing with your therapist, and are you even comfortable sharing with anyone else? Therapists are also human: they do get sick, have emergencies, they lose people they love, and sometimes make mistakes with appointments when they are unavailable, and even go on vacation or take time off. How can they care for themselves while continuing to provide the consistent, dependable, care they have established with their clients?

Therapists, it can be argued, are held to an even higher standard. The therapeutic relationship takes time to nurture. It is an intimate relationship that involves deep trust and the sharing of life experiences that have caused betrayal and mistrust in others. In the therapy session, the space is created to express pain, release intense reactions, and learn new ways of coping. As issues are worked through, transference of emotion and reaction can occur from client to therapist. The therapist comes to be relied upon as someone who will “always” be there, and help heal the past abandonment and hurt.

When the therapist experiences a crisis that takes time and attention away from the practice, it creates a challenge for clients who have come to rely upon the consistency, trust, and secure attachment the therapeutic relationship provides. This can result in reactions ranging from frustration to anger and can appear in different ways: from questioning the therapist’s ability to remain in the relationship: “She’s got too much going on I can’t call her”, to questioning the therapist’s attempts to be available for sessions even amid the crisis, to questioning scheduling and fees, to quitting the therapeutic relationship altogether.

Therapists help clients discover ways to self-soothe and create rituals for self-care, but it is also essential that therapists develop the same skills. As human beings with their own relationships, health issues, and life challenges, therapists are never immune to experiencing a setback. Part of self-care in this instance is providing transparency to clients about what is happening, why time away is necessary, and how clients can expect to be supported during the crisis. This allows the therapist to take care of themselves during their difficult time and refill their cup, return to the practice healed, whole, cared for, and able to shift their attention and guidance back to their clients.
Take care of you…Dr. Kathy
www.limitlesspotentials.com